Saturday, December 10, 2005

I see the awkward girls from my middle school growing into themeselves and becoming more and more beautiful and part of me becomes sad.




this is a story i started a couple months ago:
He preferd the peanut m&m's he was popping in his mouth to the regular kind. wrappers littered the room, I saw every single one when I walked in the door and heard them crinkle under my feet. He made no effort to hide them.
"we're a pair of pretentious fuckers, arent we?" he said, without a hello.
"basically. wow, the truth is harsh. I've become all I've ever hated." I joked.
"I know how that feels."
We were mean, bitter, cynical, bitches. we hated everyone and flauntend it. But eventually the thrill wears out. So, our intire purpose of friendship was wearing out. befor we were intoroduced, we didnt know the other excisted. we both listend to the same music, wore the same clothes, liked the same movies, but were never aware of each others presence.



i have absolutly no idea where i was going with this.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

when nothing else, talk about the weather (pt. 2) past memories

it snowed! hurrah! half the school was gone today, another hurrah, i cant stand them. last year we had such a warm winter everyone forgot about a good, healthy amount of snow and pink cheeks. well today they were bright red. it was -2 when i woke up. only 4 more days of school left. praise allah!/jesus/moses/buddah/mother earth. i remeber having a conversation the other day with a shroom acid stoner senior about how the earth has a living soul. the core of the earth is molton lava and is warm, and its been warm for billions of years. we are earths children!! sorry, hippie complexe kicking in. i also remeber when i was six going with my father to daughters go to work day and meeting some of his coworkers. one of them was an attractive 20somthing man who was really nice to me, so naturally i developed a chrush on him. in eigth grade i overheard my father telling my mother that he was gay and had contracted HIV.
yet another memory is of an elementry school yard chum, whose name was sophie also. i didnt realize it at the time, but she was amazingly lavashly rich. i have many happy childhood memories (a rare thing for me) about playing unicorns and faeries at her house, riding bareback on her horses (she had 5), looking at the buttercups by her stream, and swimming in her pond. we put on plays and even once (with our girlscout troup, another disaster) we made dinner for our familys. i didnt think of any of these things once for about 4 years, and lately the memories keep popping up. one halloween we had a large bonfire.
she goes to boulder high now and is a slut.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

I HATE colorado weather

my nail polish color reminds me of 50's hospitals. i miss liking him, but i know i will never like him the same way again. anyways, there might be a new love in my life. Chris Brewster (my god) wants me to burn him Belle & Sebastion. i am honoured! watched trainspotting today, not about people who run after trains at all! just another heroin movie but i liked it. in my "bizarro life" all my school chums talk about each other as soon as they get the chance. i wonder what they say about me? i usually just lie low.

Friday, December 02, 2005

i played with guns in class today.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

i swear, my hair tangles every chance it gets. its so cold it goes straight to your bone. i'm not giong to be warm again until may. i hate waking up when its dark outside. my skin is so dry its like its been frozen and is cracking like ice does when you step on it. even my lips are dry, but i love the dead skin on your lips you peel off with your teeth when your bored and biting your lip in class. i just wish it would finally snow.