Sunday, October 30, 2005

Making progress

She got out the shower and walked to her living room. Lux was half expecting the dead bird to be gone for some reason. She was still in her towel when she turned on the nine o' clock news. An announcement on a possible sniper, four people dead. Then on to other news, a reminder for daylight savings. Two weeks past. It was now late enough in October to be discussing Halloween costumes. The bird had begun to rot and the neighbors had complained of a sickly sweet fish smell. But Lux still hadn't gotten rid of it. To be honest, it scared the shit out of her. She was to afraid to move it. Here was something that had distracted her for days, instead of just hours. It was just so frightening, she had even been having terrifying nightmares about it. Dreams where she would be walking along a ditch covered in the fallen leaves that she didn't recognize. Every time she would come across an old decrepid Victorian house, with a woman standing with her back to Lux. There would always be crows flying overhead and in the trees. Then the woman would turn around and instead of a human head, there would be the dead head of the raven, staring back at her with the cold eyes. Lux would wake up, shaking violently. The first few times she had thrown up, then it was just uncontrollable sobbing. The deep throat filled gasping kind. But Lux was fascinated by it. She even had played with the idea of being the bird for Halloween. Lux was thinking about the dream now, as she watched the TV, which was now on weather. She had started smoking again. She hadn't picked up a pack since she was 15, to look cool, but now she did it to calm her nerves. The raven was like a ghost, a presence you weren't sure of which left a creepy aftermath. The bird had obviously changed her. She had been drinking more coffee to keep her up at night to avoid the inevitable dream. Overall, she was just perpetually on edge. Shifty. Lux didnt want to stop moving. She even left her lonely apartment, the only place she felt comfort, more and more to go to the cafe. Lux had even started to think about men again. There was another regular at the Cafe, who came at night like her, that she had noticed. But she didn't talk to him, and avoided eye contact at all cost. She knew she couldn't tell anyone about the bird, and that was the only thing that she wanted to talk about.

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