12 step for stalkers

I FOUND HIS LOCKER.

how was your summer?

one of the many things i dislike it the phrase you always hear for the first two weeks you get back in school. "how was your summer?". it is one of the most incincere, and uninteresting questions you could ask. the answere is almost always boring. the question is just a filler because you couldnt think of a better way, or cant continue a conversation. besides, the only people you would actually care about how there summer went, you know because you were there.
i feel like such a sleaze asking it.

Surprise!

as i was looking back on my life i was surprised by two things.
#1- i haven't killed my self.
#2- i haven't developed an eating disorder.
oh wait, three things
#3- i'm not (yet) a lesbian.

i wont go into depth about these things it just came as a shock looking back on my catastrophe of a life.

sultry

i wish i was one of those foreign woman who smoke cigarettes and have lots of sex appeal.

the pixies

k so i still havent gotten over this atrocity. the other day crusing pearl street i ran into two boys i knew. one was my friends ex, (who looked really uncomfertable when i said hello, heheh) and the other was this kid named ben black. i went to elementary school with him and he had a crush on me for the majority of it. so first thing that upset me was that he didnt recognize me, which i wouldnt have minded but i had ran into a childhood friend about two months ago who was on shrooms and still regognized me. anyway, ben was wearing a pixies shirt. the pixies are one of my favorite bands, i have been listing to them since about six or seventh grade, before they got back together. i have bossonova, suferosa, doolittle, and there greatest hits. i love the pixies. so when i saw his shirt i was impressed. my friend (who also likes the pixies) commented on it. first he said "thanks" and then he said " do you even really like the pixies, or are you just saying that to look cool." i was outraged. but we took it lightly and said "ohhh yea there so great" and he gave us the 'whatever' look and we left, disgusted. as you can imagen, we bitched about it for 20 min.
how dare he.

we fence these graves with the bones of our own

back to school season is the season of sales and suicides.
yesterday wondering in the land of found objects i found tom. tom is a pink light up skull. i shall do mysterious vodoo magic with him. mostly love spells.
i have not seen target boy in about a week. i feel like im drying up, like a prune.
every summer my brother, father, grandma and i go to tiny town. today we went and during lunch when grandma was talking about her cancer i pretended i wasnt listening and lost my appetite and tried not to cry while looking at the chubby 5 year old holding 5 lollypops who was waiting for her mother to finish breast-feeding her sibling.

yes a song lyric post

SO surfing myspace, a popular and addicting internet sight, i came upon a wonderful and inspiring song. it was by black eyes, a band around the same lines of fugazi. the song is deformative. so here are the lyrics. enjoy. (if you are actually going to read them.)
[I.] Sunset, behind a chain link fence
You put that tiny candle in my hand
You put that chrism on my forehead
With your fingers crossed
You held my wrists
And I'll never forget that pebble pushing up into my knee
You said the sky'd light up [x2]
And all the kids in the playground waiting for the light up
You said the sky's the sign [x2]
And I was watching the blue in your eyes turn fire
You said the sky'd light up [x2]
And we were all waiting for
And all I feel anymore and all I can see anymore
I didn't like it
I was excited by it
What will I say when I get home?
I'm in the window, I'm at the door
Oooh, oooh, oooh
And (I, my) one the foure-square court (lie, aie) and on the jungle gym (why, cry, I've got no piece of mind) and (I got no peace) on the asphalt you gave me a fear of (I'm gonne blow your mind and) my skin, a desiring (I'm gonna blow your mind) to feel the sun rising in between my knees
Why try, feel my, I got no peace of mind
And I got no peace of mind [x2]
And all I can feel anymore and all I can see anymore
I'm 16, driving south from Baltimore
What will I say when I get home?
I'm in the window
I'm at the door
All I feel anymore and all I can see anymore
There's something on the ceiling
My feet aren't on the floor
All I feel anymore and all I can see anymore
My feet aren't on the floor
There's something on the ceiling
[I.]
All I feel anymore and all I can see anymore
Do you fear for your child?
This will stay with me until I die!
And all the kids (boys) in the four-square courts
All I feel anymore and all I can see anymore
I hated (wanted) them then them more!
A loneliness no fag could comprehend