how amusing

dorkdorkdork

Plato's Symposium:

"People were hermaphrodites until God split them in two, and now all the halves wander the world over seeking one another. Love is the longing for the half of ourselves we have lost."

Your standards will kill yourself.

i dont know what to do.

She cant hardly wait

I was in the park at a quarter to one. I watched them through the chain link fence with my fingers wrapped around it.
they were dancing together under the spotlight on the blacktop. It was silent, except for the cars passing by.
I felt the cold go down my spine. I hadn't seen him all summer, and here I was, no better then a peeping tom. He always thought I talked to much.
I was in the park because I had to leave the party. I watched them kiss on the futon from the doorway and I couldn't take it. I had excused myself politely saying I was going to the bathroom. The front door was open for the smokers, so I think people just thought I was going to find a better conversation. But here I was in the park. I had run all the way down there, in the middle of the street because asphalt is supposed to be better for your knees then pavement. I stopped and sat in a front lawn to catch my breath on the way. The park wasn't any help, I couldn't forget things I wanted to and seeing the shadows of their dancing just reminded me of more things I didn't want to remember.
so I went to the supermarket.
it was full of boxes for restalking and all the workers were stoned. There were only four other shoppers and all looked sufficiently intoxicated. Once I was there I didn't know what to do. I decided to ask where the fritos where. I bought them and left. I ate the fritos outside on one of the concrete picnic tables trying to figure out my next move, and my future. At first I planed on going to dennys and staying there until it was late enough in the morning to go home. But I had spent my coffee money on the salty fritos, I cursed myself for not getting a drink. I decided I would go to college but only after a year off. Maybe I could sneak in through my window, but I had to much energy to go to sleep. I would live in a big city.
I considered if he wasn't real while I crumpled the bag and looked down at my sneakers.
I spotted the meth couple I saw inside leaving and decided to follow them. They took the shopping cart all the way to their apartment building two blocks away. I sat in the stairwell and listened to them bicker over the radio. 'California dreamin'' came on and all I heard was the man say "shh...listen", and the song filled the air. I think there names were reggie and Fred. Fred had a strong jaw and piercing blue eyes and would be attractive if he didn't have a mullet that he pulled back into a pony tail. reggie had big red hair.
after that I walked home.
on my way I kicked a dumpster and saw the girl who flashed everyone at the football game. I went home and peeled dried glue off my hand and thought about how he had ripped off the cover of my favorite book.

my least favorite month is august

i feel like we used to have fun.
i am tired of being bored. arent you?



sometimes i forget to hate myself.

tapioca

i love tapioca pudding, but i rarely get to eat it. i always get long periods of cravings for it, ever since i was a child. i leap for joy each time the rare possibility of available tapioca pudding. well, i caved in. i bought tapioca mix and decided to make it myself. i burnt it. all pudding is difficult to make. but i was still determind. i ate spoonfulls of the burnt pudding. it was disgusting. i just wanted that sweet pudding so badly. later as i was developing calouses from scouring the pot i realized what i had been reduced to.
well today i tried again and i won. the tapioca is cooling in the fridge as i write this. you have no idea of the self satisfation that i am feeling right now.

why i love alicia (even when shes crippled)

this is a post taken from january; enjoy, i certainly did.
Obsession.
obsession: A recurring, unwanted idea that cannot be eliminated. Obsessive ideas are often unreasonable and disturbing. Preoccupation with an obsessive idea can interfere with normal daily activities.


my obsessions (or rather things that only point to me being OCD):

-sophie's house
-sophie's mom
-coffee
-cigarettes
-sophie's perfume
-grilled cheese
-cheese in general
-sandwiches in general
-myspace
-labeling things with my label maker
-washing my hands
-shredding paper
-drunken sluts
-following a perfect routine every morning
-making sure public bathroom doors are locked before i pee
-eating pistachios
-quarters
-daily seinfeld references

so much more... and so little motivation.



HAHA!
love
sophie