remeber that somthingsomthing toilet seats story i wrote a while back? the one with the peanut m&m's? remeber that fantastic last part and ending?
i think i deleted it.
kill me
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Monday, February 20, 2006
just another brick in the wall
I have nothing to say.
after watching the wall today with my hippie stoner school chums, i told my father and low and behold, it got him started on a (aprroximatly) 5 minute rant on how much he hates pink floyd. there very bloated and unoriginal, apparently. and we dont need no education is a very ignorant song. he even tied transendentalism into it.
i just dont like them that much.
after watching the wall today with my hippie stoner school chums, i told my father and low and behold, it got him started on a (aprroximatly) 5 minute rant on how much he hates pink floyd. there very bloated and unoriginal, apparently. and we dont need no education is a very ignorant song. he even tied transendentalism into it.
i just dont like them that much.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
here are some images i stole from other people; hopefully you can steal them to:
I do not share your "enthusiasm", your "lust for life". i wish i could just cut certian people out of my life, and not feel bad about it.
Friday, February 17, 2006
california dreamin'
All the leaves are brown (all the leaves are brown)
And the sky is grey (and the sky is grey)
I've been for a walk (I've been for a walk)
On a winter's day (on a winter's day)
I'd be safe and warm (I'd be safe and warm)
If I was in L.A. (if I was in L.A.)
California dreaming (California dreaming)
On such a winter's day
Stopped into a church
I passed along the way
Well, I got down on my knees (got down on my knees)
And I pretend to pray (I pretend to pray)
You know the preacher likes the cold (preacher likes the cold)
He knows I'm gonna stay (knows I'm gonna stay)
California dreaming (California dreaming)
On such a winter's day
All the leaves are brown (all the leaves are brown)
And the sky is grey (and the sky is grey)
I've been for a walk (I've been for a walk)
On a winter's day (on a winter's day)
If I didn't tell her (if I didn't tell her)
I could leave today (I could leave today)
California dreaming (California dreaming)
On such a winter's day (California dreaming)
On such a winter's day (California dreaming)
On such a winter's day
And the sky is grey (and the sky is grey)
I've been for a walk (I've been for a walk)
On a winter's day (on a winter's day)
I'd be safe and warm (I'd be safe and warm)
If I was in L.A. (if I was in L.A.)
California dreaming (California dreaming)
On such a winter's day
Stopped into a church
I passed along the way
Well, I got down on my knees (got down on my knees)
And I pretend to pray (I pretend to pray)
You know the preacher likes the cold (preacher likes the cold)
He knows I'm gonna stay (knows I'm gonna stay)
California dreaming (California dreaming)
On such a winter's day
All the leaves are brown (all the leaves are brown)
And the sky is grey (and the sky is grey)
I've been for a walk (I've been for a walk)
On a winter's day (on a winter's day)
If I didn't tell her (if I didn't tell her)
I could leave today (I could leave today)
California dreaming (California dreaming)
On such a winter's day (California dreaming)
On such a winter's day (California dreaming)
On such a winter's day
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Sunday, January 29, 2006
She had things cut out from magazines taped up on her walls. Her room smelled like stale cigarettes and feet. And her raw ugliness awoke something animal in me.
We went down to the corner gas station and bought bad coffee, Irish. The Irish didn't help. Its Michigan, so it was windy, and it blew her long, dead, scraggly hair out of her scarred face. In the station she had been fingering a quarter in between her thumb and forefinger, it was gone now. I had nothing to say, and the silence was deafening, I almost didn't hear the wind. Her smokers cough broke it. Sharp, rasp, and from deep in the lungs. I didn't know how old she was, she could've been very young but her eyes shown that she had lived some mystery. Poor girl, I thought. You could tell she was sad, and you could tell she knew you were sad too. We walked to Bill's Laundromat. I carried her bag. Her dirty laundry.
We went down to the corner gas station and bought bad coffee, Irish. The Irish didn't help. Its Michigan, so it was windy, and it blew her long, dead, scraggly hair out of her scarred face. In the station she had been fingering a quarter in between her thumb and forefinger, it was gone now. I had nothing to say, and the silence was deafening, I almost didn't hear the wind. Her smokers cough broke it. Sharp, rasp, and from deep in the lungs. I didn't know how old she was, she could've been very young but her eyes shown that she had lived some mystery. Poor girl, I thought. You could tell she was sad, and you could tell she knew you were sad too. We walked to Bill's Laundromat. I carried her bag. Her dirty laundry.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Third part
He preferred the peanut m&m's he was popping in his mouth to the regular kind. Wrappers littered the room, I saw every single one when I walked in the door and heard them crinkle under my feet. He made no effort to hide them.
"we're a pair of pretentious fuckers, aren't we?" he said, without a hello.
"basically. Wow, the truth is harsh. I've become all I've ever hated." I joked.
"I know how that feels."
We were mean, bitter, cynical, bitches. We hated everyone and flaunted it. But eventually the thrill wears out. So, our entire purpose of friendship was wearing out. Before we were introduced, we didn't know the other existed. We both listened to the same music, wore the same clothes, liked the same movies, but were never aware of each others presence.
he jumped up off the bed quickly and grabbed his jacket from the chair as he flew out the door, wrappers crinkling behind him. I knew to follow. We got into his late 80's Honda and were driving down to the pizza place. I reached under my seat looking for a pack of cigarettes but all I found was an old bob Dylan tape. I was about to push it into the cassette player when he shrieked
"DON'T DO IT, IT EATS TAPES!"
"sorrysorrysorry!"
I decided to instead turn on the radio. Because his car was two decades old, not only was the seat foam coming out from the tears in the seams, but the antenna had fallen off too. So all we heard was white noise with what sounded like moody college radio underneath. I started to stare out the window.
"come back, daydreamer."
we were suddenly at the pizzeria.
"want a slice?"
"I don't feel like eating."
I walked to the back and slid into one of the booths in the corner. He came back with a greasy piece of pizza that looked exactly like his greasy face. I watched him poor a pound of Parmesan onto it. Then I watched him eat it. unlikemost people, this didn't seem to make him uncomfortable. He just kept shoving it in his face.
We started to have the same conversation we always have. First music.
" I love that song where it starts out really shitty and raw and then changes to those lyrics: ' those heartbreakers need to
leave this city this city leave this city and neva come back 'till there pure again.' "
"yeah, I like that to." the mystery with all rock lyrics is that the lines sound so great in the song, but taken out of them, they usually sound like crap.
then we moved on to:
"I hate people so much. They're ridiculous. I mean, look at that couple over there, does she really think she's gunny get laid giggling her leg like that?"
"I know! She's so unattractive. And you can totally see that the guy is just with her out of pity."
"or he cant find anyone better."
the sick pleasure we used to get out of this awful commentary had faded, and now we were just doing it out of routine.
"is it ok if we go down to the gas station?"
we left the pizzeria and walked past where he parked his car, and down to the corner. He bought peanut m&m's, and I got a tootsie roll pop. As I went up to the counter to pay the 25 cents I owed, I saw the nirvana junkie behind the cash register open his mouth.
"if you ask me how many licks I'm going to your manager and getting your ass fired for smelling like pot."
he looked slightly shocked. Back up the street to the car. Once we got in, he instantly opened the m&m's. I had stopped long ago expecting him to offer me some.
"I HATE this town. There's nothing to do. Its so goddamn boring."
another thing we had covered many times.
"well we could just drive around until we see something, or we could go to another town."
"I don't have enough money for gas to do that." he had already finished, and was crumpling up the wrapper.
"we're a pair of pretentious fuckers, aren't we?" he said, without a hello.
"basically. Wow, the truth is harsh. I've become all I've ever hated." I joked.
"I know how that feels."
We were mean, bitter, cynical, bitches. We hated everyone and flaunted it. But eventually the thrill wears out. So, our entire purpose of friendship was wearing out. Before we were introduced, we didn't know the other existed. We both listened to the same music, wore the same clothes, liked the same movies, but were never aware of each others presence.
he jumped up off the bed quickly and grabbed his jacket from the chair as he flew out the door, wrappers crinkling behind him. I knew to follow. We got into his late 80's Honda and were driving down to the pizza place. I reached under my seat looking for a pack of cigarettes but all I found was an old bob Dylan tape. I was about to push it into the cassette player when he shrieked
"DON'T DO IT, IT EATS TAPES!"
"sorrysorrysorry!"
I decided to instead turn on the radio. Because his car was two decades old, not only was the seat foam coming out from the tears in the seams, but the antenna had fallen off too. So all we heard was white noise with what sounded like moody college radio underneath. I started to stare out the window.
"come back, daydreamer."
we were suddenly at the pizzeria.
"want a slice?"
"I don't feel like eating."
I walked to the back and slid into one of the booths in the corner. He came back with a greasy piece of pizza that looked exactly like his greasy face. I watched him poor a pound of Parmesan onto it. Then I watched him eat it. unlikemost people, this didn't seem to make him uncomfortable. He just kept shoving it in his face.
We started to have the same conversation we always have. First music.
" I love that song where it starts out really shitty and raw and then changes to those lyrics: ' those heartbreakers need to
leave this city this city leave this city and neva come back 'till there pure again.' "
"yeah, I like that to." the mystery with all rock lyrics is that the lines sound so great in the song, but taken out of them, they usually sound like crap.
then we moved on to:
"I hate people so much. They're ridiculous. I mean, look at that couple over there, does she really think she's gunny get laid giggling her leg like that?"
"I know! She's so unattractive. And you can totally see that the guy is just with her out of pity."
"or he cant find anyone better."
the sick pleasure we used to get out of this awful commentary had faded, and now we were just doing it out of routine.
"is it ok if we go down to the gas station?"
we left the pizzeria and walked past where he parked his car, and down to the corner. He bought peanut m&m's, and I got a tootsie roll pop. As I went up to the counter to pay the 25 cents I owed, I saw the nirvana junkie behind the cash register open his mouth.
"if you ask me how many licks I'm going to your manager and getting your ass fired for smelling like pot."
he looked slightly shocked. Back up the street to the car. Once we got in, he instantly opened the m&m's. I had stopped long ago expecting him to offer me some.
"I HATE this town. There's nothing to do. Its so goddamn boring."
another thing we had covered many times.
"well we could just drive around until we see something, or we could go to another town."
"I don't have enough money for gas to do that." he had already finished, and was crumpling up the wrapper.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Sunday, January 08, 2006
I know every nook and krany of boulder city. This, sadly, is not a feat of any kind. I feel shellshocked, horrified, and culture clashed all at the same time. Boulder sucks, Colorado sucks. The first Saturday since I got back I felt bored, for the first time in 3 weeks, within three hours of waking. There is nothing to do, nothing to see, nothing to experience that hasn't been done a hundred times before. The monotony of school as dribbled into the weekend. Everything is the same and systematic. I want something new! Something fresh! This happened to me around the same time last year and I regretted every choice I made to make it exciting again, so I am a little hesitant to do anything about it, but I cant go on like this for much longer!
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Saturday, December 10, 2005
I see the awkward girls from my middle school growing into themeselves and becoming more and more beautiful and part of me becomes sad.
this is a story i started a couple months ago:
He preferd the peanut m&m's he was popping in his mouth to the regular kind. wrappers littered the room, I saw every single one when I walked in the door and heard them crinkle under my feet. He made no effort to hide them.
"we're a pair of pretentious fuckers, arent we?" he said, without a hello.
"basically. wow, the truth is harsh. I've become all I've ever hated." I joked.
"I know how that feels."
We were mean, bitter, cynical, bitches. we hated everyone and flauntend it. But eventually the thrill wears out. So, our intire purpose of friendship was wearing out. befor we were intoroduced, we didnt know the other excisted. we both listend to the same music, wore the same clothes, liked the same movies, but were never aware of each others presence.
i have absolutly no idea where i was going with this.
this is a story i started a couple months ago:
He preferd the peanut m&m's he was popping in his mouth to the regular kind. wrappers littered the room, I saw every single one when I walked in the door and heard them crinkle under my feet. He made no effort to hide them.
"we're a pair of pretentious fuckers, arent we?" he said, without a hello.
"basically. wow, the truth is harsh. I've become all I've ever hated." I joked.
"I know how that feels."
We were mean, bitter, cynical, bitches. we hated everyone and flauntend it. But eventually the thrill wears out. So, our intire purpose of friendship was wearing out. befor we were intoroduced, we didnt know the other excisted. we both listend to the same music, wore the same clothes, liked the same movies, but were never aware of each others presence.
i have absolutly no idea where i was going with this.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
when nothing else, talk about the weather (pt. 2) past memories
it snowed! hurrah! half the school was gone today, another hurrah, i cant stand them. last year we had such a warm winter everyone forgot about a good, healthy amount of snow and pink cheeks. well today they were bright red. it was -2 when i woke up. only 4 more days of school left. praise allah!/jesus/moses/buddah/mother earth. i remeber having a conversation the other day with a shroom acid stoner senior about how the earth has a living soul. the core of the earth is molton lava and is warm, and its been warm for billions of years. we are earths children!! sorry, hippie complexe kicking in. i also remeber when i was six going with my father to daughters go to work day and meeting some of his coworkers. one of them was an attractive 20somthing man who was really nice to me, so naturally i developed a chrush on him. in eigth grade i overheard my father telling my mother that he was gay and had contracted HIV.
yet another memory is of an elementry school yard chum, whose name was sophie also. i didnt realize it at the time, but she was amazingly lavashly rich. i have many happy childhood memories (a rare thing for me) about playing unicorns and faeries at her house, riding bareback on her horses (she had 5), looking at the buttercups by her stream, and swimming in her pond. we put on plays and even once (with our girlscout troup, another disaster) we made dinner for our familys. i didnt think of any of these things once for about 4 years, and lately the memories keep popping up. one halloween we had a large bonfire.
she goes to boulder high now and is a slut.
yet another memory is of an elementry school yard chum, whose name was sophie also. i didnt realize it at the time, but she was amazingly lavashly rich. i have many happy childhood memories (a rare thing for me) about playing unicorns and faeries at her house, riding bareback on her horses (she had 5), looking at the buttercups by her stream, and swimming in her pond. we put on plays and even once (with our girlscout troup, another disaster) we made dinner for our familys. i didnt think of any of these things once for about 4 years, and lately the memories keep popping up. one halloween we had a large bonfire.
she goes to boulder high now and is a slut.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
I HATE colorado weather
my nail polish color reminds me of 50's hospitals. i miss liking him, but i know i will never like him the same way again. anyways, there might be a new love in my life. Chris Brewster (my god) wants me to burn him Belle & Sebastion. i am honoured! watched trainspotting today, not about people who run after trains at all! just another heroin movie but i liked it. in my "bizarro life" all my school chums talk about each other as soon as they get the chance. i wonder what they say about me? i usually just lie low.
Friday, December 02, 2005
Thursday, December 01, 2005
i swear, my hair tangles every chance it gets. its so cold it goes straight to your bone. i'm not giong to be warm again until may. i hate waking up when its dark outside. my skin is so dry its like its been frozen and is cracking like ice does when you step on it. even my lips are dry, but i love the dead skin on your lips you peel off with your teeth when your bored and biting your lip in class. i just wish it would finally snow.
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